If I Were You

(i) Gerrard says this.

(ii) Gerrard says this when the Intruder forces him at gunpoint to keep talking and explain himself. Gerrard has been speaking at length, and he ironically remarks that the Intruder is a 'sympathetic audience' — meaning someone who is willing to listen to him.

(iii) Gerrard is being sarcastic. The Intruder is not really a sympathetic or willing listener; he is a dangerous criminal who is listening only to gather information for his own selfish purpose — to steal Gerrard's identity. Gerrard uses this ironic remark to hide his fear and maintain his composure.

Given: The Intruder is a criminal who has killed a cop and is being hunted by the police.

The Intruder chooses Gerrard as the man whose identity he wants to take on because:
1. Gerrard lives alone in a lonely cottage in Essex, away from public life, making it easy to disappear.
2. Gerrard is of a similar build and appearance to the Intruder.
3. Gerrard is mysterious — he is not well known, does not meet many people, and his movements are irregular. This would make it easy for the Intruder to assume his identity without being detected.
4. By killing Gerrard and taking over his identity, the Intruder could escape the police who were after him for murder.

In short, Gerrard's solitary, mysterious lifestyle made him the perfect target.

(i) The Intruder says this.

(ii) The expression means that the Intruder did not use words to express himself — instead, he used bullets (i.e., he shot and killed a policeman). It is a play on the phrase 'say it with flowers', implying that his way of communicating is through violence.

(iii) Yes, it is the truth. The Intruder is a wanted criminal who has already killed a cop. He says this to intimidate Gerrard and to make it clear that he is dangerous and will not hesitate to kill again. His reason for saying this is to frighten Gerrard into submission and to establish his ruthless nature so that Gerrard does not try to resist or outsmart him.

Gerrard's profession is that of a playwright (a writer of plays).

The following parts of the play support this:

1. When the Intruder asks about the bag, Gerrard says he makes a 'hurried departure' sometimes — suggesting a writer's irregular lifestyle.
2. Gerrard says: *"I think I'll put it in my next play"* — this directly tells us he writes plays.
3. At the end, Gerrard calls someone on the phone and says: *"Sorry I can't let you have the props in time for rehearsal, I've had a spot of bother — quite amusing. I think I'll put it in my next play."* — 'props' and 'rehearsal' are theatrical terms, confirming he is involved in theatre as a playwright.
4. The Intruder himself says Gerrard is *"a bit queer"* and notes that Gerrard gets *"calls at odd times"* and *"mysterious trips to town"* — consistent with a writer's lifestyle.

(i) The Intruder says this.

(ii) The Intruder says this because Gerrard is responding to the threatening situation in a calm, witty, and composed manner — cracking jokes and speaking in a relaxed tone — instead of showing fear. The Intruder is irritated by Gerrard's smartness and confidence, and warns him that his cleverness will soon come to an end.

(iii) According to the Intruder, death will stop Gerrard from being smart. The Intruder plans to kill Gerrard and take over his identity. Once Gerrard is dead, he will obviously not be able to be clever or witty anymore. The Intruder believes that the threat of being killed should make Gerrard stop his smart talk.

(i) The Intruder says this.

(ii) The Intruder says this because he has already committed a murder (he killed a cop) and is a wanted criminal. He knows that if caught, he will be hanged for that crime. Since the punishment for murder is death (hanging), killing Gerrard will not add any extra punishment — he cannot be hanged twice for two murders. Therefore, he has nothing to lose by killing Gerrard. He says this to show that he is not afraid to kill Gerrard and to intimidate him into cooperating.

The speaker is Gerrard.

The mystery that Gerrard proposes to explain is why he (Gerrard) also needs to avoid the police, just like the Intruder. Gerrard cleverly fabricates a story to make the Intruder believe that Gerrard himself is a criminal on the run — that he too is wanted by the police for some crime. He tells the Intruder that he is not what he seems, that he has been living under a false identity, and that the police are already on their way to his cottage.

By creating this 'mystery' about his own criminal background, Gerrard tries to convince the Intruder that assuming Gerrard's identity would not save him but would instead lead him straight into the hands of the police. This is Gerrard's clever trick to outwit the Intruder.

(i) This has been said by Gerrard towards the end of the play, when he is trying to convince the Intruder that his plan to take over Gerrard's identity will not work. Gerrard says this while revealing his fabricated story that he too is a wanted criminal, and that the police are closing in on his cottage.

(ii) The surprise is that Gerrard himself is supposedly a criminal on the run, living under a false identity. The Intruder had assumed that by killing Gerrard and taking his identity, he would be safe from the police. But Gerrard tells him that Gerrard's identity is itself a fake one, and that the police are already after 'Gerrard'. So instead of escaping, the Intruder would be walking straight into a trap. This is the 'big surprise' — that the plan the Intruder thought was foolproof would actually lead to his capture.

1. The site of the accident was ghastly.
- *Site* = location/place; *cite* = to quote. *Ghastly* = horrible/shocking; *ghostly* = like a ghost.

2. Our college principal is very strict.
- *Principal* (noun) = head of an institution; *principle* (noun) = a rule or belief.

3. I studied continuously for eight hours.
- *Continuously* = without any break; *continually* = repeatedly with short breaks. Studying for 8 hours without stopping = continuously.

4. The fog had an adverse effect on the traffic.
- *Effect* (noun) = result/impact; *affect* (verb) = to have an impact on. Here a noun is needed after 'adverse'.

5. Cezanne, the famous French painter, was a brilliant artist.
- *Artist* = a person who creates visual art (painting, sculpture, etc.); *artiste* = a professional entertainer (singer, dancer, etc.). Cezanne was a painter, so *artist* is correct.

6. The book that you gave me yesterday is an extraordinary collage of science fiction and mystery.
- *Collage* = a mixture/combination of different elements; *college* = an educational institution.

7. Our school will host an exhibition on cruelty to animals and wildlife conservation.
- *Host* = to organise/hold an event; *hoist* = to raise/lift something (like a flag).

8. Screw the lid tightly onto the top of the bottle and shake well before using the contents.
- *Shake* = to move rapidly back and forth; *shape* = to give form to something.

The two examples already given in the textbook are:

| What Gerrard says | What he really means |
|---|---|
| Why, this is a surprise, Mr—er— | He pretends that the intruder is a social visitor whom he is welcoming. In this way he hides his fear. |
| At last a sympathetic audience! | He pretends that the intruder wants to listen to him, whereas actually the intruder wants to find out information for his own use. |

Three more ironic expressions used by Gerrard:

| What Gerrard says | What he really means |
|---|---|
| "Sorry, you startled me. I didn't hear you come in." | He is not really apologising. He is being sarcastic — an armed intruder has broken into his house, yet Gerrard speaks as if it were a normal social visit and he had simply not heard a knock at the door. |
| "I'm sorry. I'm afraid I don't know your name." | He is not genuinely sorry or curious. He is mocking the intruder by treating the dangerous encounter as a polite social introduction, as if they were strangers meeting at a party. |
| "Quite amusing. I think I'll put it in my next play." | He is not genuinely amused in a light-hearted way. He is being ironic — a man just tried to kill him and take over his identity, yet Gerrard coolly refers to it as 'amusing material' for a play, showing his wit and composure under pressure. |

The completed table is as follows:

| Noun | Adjective | Adverb | Verb | Meaning |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| sympathy | sympathetic | sympathetically | sympathise | a feeling of understanding and care for someone else's suffering or misfortune |
| familiarity | familiar | familiarly | familiarise | close acquaintance with or knowledge of something; being well known |
| comfort | comfortable | comfortably | comfort | a state of physical ease and freedom from pain or constraint; to make someone feel less unhappy |
| care | careful / caring | carefully | care | the provision of what is necessary for the health, welfare, and protection of someone; to feel concern or interest |
| surprise | surprising / surprised | surprisingly | surprise | an unexpected or astonishing event, fact, or thing; to cause someone to feel mild astonishment |

Sample narration (as Gerrard speaking to a friend):

"You won't believe what happened to me last evening! I was at home, quietly going about my work, when a man suddenly appeared in my cottage — armed with a revolver! He was a stocky, rough-looking fellow, wearing a soft hat pulled low over his face. He spoke in a threatening, no-nonsense manner and made it very clear that he meant business.

It turned out he was a wanted criminal — he had already killed a policeman and was on the run from the law. He had been watching me for some time and had decided that the best way to escape was to kill me and take over my identity! He figured that since I live alone, move about mysteriously, and am not well known, nobody would notice the switch.

Now, I must admit, for a moment things looked rather grim. But I kept my head. I spun him a yarn — told him that I was also a wanted criminal, that the police were already closing in on my cottage, and that assuming my identity would land him straight in their hands. I even arranged a fake telephone call to make it convincing.

Then I told him there was a secret exit through a door — and when he leaned forward to look, I gave him a sharp push into the cupboard, knocked the revolver out of his hand, and locked him in! Then I rang up and asked the Sergeant to come over.

Quite an evening, wasn't it? I think I'll put it in my next play!"

Guidelines for enacting the play:

1. Read the stage directions carefully — the words in italics before each dialogue tell you the tone (sarcastic, calm, threatening) and the action (moves, picks up, slams the door, etc.).

2. Gerrard's role: Gerrard should speak in a calm, witty, and slightly ironic tone throughout. Even when threatened, he should appear composed and unruffled. His lines should be delivered with intelligence and a hint of humour.

3. The Intruder's role: The Intruder should speak in a rough, threatening, and suspicious manner. His tone should be aggressive and impatient.

4. Key moments to enact carefully:
- The Intruder's entry with the revolver.
- Gerrard's cool, ironic responses.
- The fabricated story about Gerrard being a criminal.
- The fake telephone bell.
- The push into the cupboard and locking of the door.
- Gerrard's final phone call to the Sergeant.

5. Props needed: A revolver (toy), a telephone, a cupboard or door, a bag/holdall.

*Note: Students should rehearse their lines and focus on expression, tone, and movement to bring the play to life.*

Words describing Gerrard: smart, humorous, clever, cool, confident, witty, nonchalant

Words describing the Intruder: smart, confident, flashy

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Paragraph about Gerrard:

Gerrard is a remarkably smart and clever individual who keeps his wits about him even in the most dangerous situations. When an armed intruder breaks into his cottage with the intention of killing him and stealing his identity, Gerrard does not panic. Instead, he remains cool and nonchalant, responding to every threat with wit and humour. He is confident enough to fabricate an elaborate story on the spot, convincing the Intruder that assuming his identity would be a fatal mistake. His witty remarks — such as "At last a sympathetic audience!" — show that he is humorous even under pressure. Ultimately, it is his intelligence and presence of mind that allow him to outwit the Intruder and have him locked in the cupboard.

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Paragraph about the Intruder:

The Intruder is a dangerous and desperate criminal who is wanted by the police for killing a cop. He is smart enough to have researched Gerrard thoroughly before making his move — he knows about Gerrard's solitary lifestyle, his mysterious trips, and his physical appearance. He is confident and flashy in his manner, speaking with authority and brandishing his revolver to intimidate Gerrard. However, despite his street-smartness, he lacks the intellectual sharpness of Gerrard. He is too trusting of Gerrard's fabricated story and falls for the trick of looking into the 'secret exit', which leads to his capture. His confidence ultimately proves to be his undoing.

Title: The Tables Turned

One quiet evening, playwright Vincent Charles Gerrard was at home in his lonely cottage in Essex when an armed intruder suddenly appeared. The man, a wanted criminal who had killed a policeman, had been watching Gerrard for weeks. He had a cunning plan — to kill Gerrard and take over his identity, thereby escaping the law.

But Gerrard was no ordinary man. Instead of panicking, he remained remarkably calm and witty. He listened to the Intruder's plan with an air of amusement and then cleverly turned the tables. He told the Intruder that he too was a wanted criminal living under a false identity, and that the police were already on their way to the cottage. He even made the ringing telephone seem like proof.

When the Intruder leaned forward to inspect a supposed 'secret exit' — actually a cupboard — Gerrard gave him a sharp push, knocked the revolver from his hand, and locked him inside.

Calmly picking up the phone, Gerrard called the police Sergeant. As for the whole adventure, he simply remarked, "Quite amusing — I think I'll put it in my next play."

*And so the hunter became the hunted.*