Understanding the Self

The term self refers to the totality of a person’s experiences, ideas, thoughts and feelings about herself/himself. It is the characteristic way in which a person defines oneself, and it includes the sense of “I” that is different from others.

The self has various dimensions:
- Personal self: aspects that relate only to you.
- Social self: aspects where you are involved with others, such as sharing, cooperation, support and unity.

It can also be understood through self-concept and self-esteem:
- Self-concept is a description of oneself, answering “Who am I?” For example, “I am a student,” “I can draw well.”
- Self-esteem is one’s judgment of oneself according to the standards set, often influenced by society. For example, feeling proud of doing well in studies or unhappy about one’s performance.

So, the self is not just one thing; it includes physical, emotional, mental, social, and capability-related aspects of a person.

It is important to understand the self because it helps us know who we are, what makes us different from others, and how we relate to people around us. Understanding the self helps in:
- developing a positive sense of self,
- understanding our strengths, feelings and abilities,
- recognising our personal and social identity,
- building self-esteem, and
- understanding how our self influences the way we interact with others.

The chapter also shows that the self develops through experiences and relationships, so understanding it helps us understand our own growth and identity.

According to Erik H. Erikson, each stage of development has a task that must be completed to move to the next stage. For the period of adolescence, the task is to develop a sense of identity or a satisfactory self-definition.

This stage is critical because:
1. The adolescent becomes intensely preoccupied with trying to know oneself.
2. Toward the end of adolescence, a relatively lasting sense of selfhood develops, so the person can say, “This is who I am.”
3. Identity is influenced by rapid biological changes and changing social demands.

The adolescent also faces conflicting expectations from family and society, which may lead to role confusion or identity confusion. However, the chapter says these difficulties are a normal part of development.

The characteristics of the self change with age:

### Infancy
- The infant has no self-awareness, self-understanding or self-recognition at birth.
- Gradually the sense of self emerges.
- Around 18 months, self-image recognition begins.
- Infants begin to use pronouns like I, me, mine in the latter half of the second year.
- Example: saying “my toy” or “me eating.”

### Early childhood
- Children describe themselves mainly through physical features and possessions.
- Their descriptions are absolute, not comparative.
- They describe what they can do.
- Their self-descriptions are concrete.
- They often overestimate themselves.
- They cannot easily recognise that they can have both good and bad qualities.
- Example: “I am tall,” “I can ride a cycle.”

### Middle childhood
- Self-evaluations become more complex.
- Children begin to describe internal characteristics such as preferences and personality traits.
- They include social identity and group membership.
- They make social comparisons.
- They begin to distinguish between the real self and ideal self.
- Their self-descriptions become more realistic.
- Example: “I am good at making friends,” “I can run faster than Kiran.”

### Adolescence
- Self-descriptions become more abstract.
- Adolescents focus on inner qualities rather than only physical traits.
- They may describe themselves as quiet, sensitive, brave, emotional, truthful, etc.
- The self contains contradictions.
- The sense of self is fluctuating.
- The ideal self becomes more prominent.
- Adolescents are more self-conscious and feel as if they are always “on stage.”
- Example: “I am calm but get easily disturbed.”

I do not fully agree with the statement that all adolescents experience an identity crisis.

The chapter says adolescence is a critical time for identity development because of rapid biological changes, changing social expectations, and the adolescent’s strong need to understand the self. These factors may create role confusion or identity confusion.

However, the chapter also clearly says that:
- these difficulties are a normal part of development,
- the adolescent does not necessarily experience major emotional upheaval,
- and for many adolescents, especially those involved in family occupations, the sense of break may not be distinct.

So, while many adolescents may experience conflict and confusion, it is not true that all adolescents experience an identity crisis in the same way or to the same extent.